Red Meat Reviews

Planet Hulk Movie Review

Shogun00 — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 18:52:52 +0000

This movie is a green toxic steaming pile of animated gamma filled shit.

The movie kicks off with the Hulk waking up in a spaceship with a hologram of ironman explaining to the Hulk that he is to dangerous for earth so him and a couple of other “heroes” have sent him to a planet with no intelligent life, the Hulk goes nuts, starts to smash some shit and is knocked off course, crash lands and is captured (I know I should have stopped watching right then) and immediately is put into a coliseum to fight gladiator style only to rise up and overthrow the ruling power.

Right off the bat I did not read any of the Planet Hulk comics so I really don’t have a frame of reference about this particular story arch of the Hulk. The last couple of marvel animations have been hands down freaking awesome. In fact Hulk VS Wolverine was one of the best anime’s I have seen (the entire weapon X cast was in it) in a while and Hulk Vs Thor was EPIC.

This movie was not. The Hulk’s voice acting was subtle, which is just dumb. HE IS THE FUCKING HULK, SMASH SOME SHIT!!!! He should have been killing almost everything in this film, instead the Hulk gets bitched in almost every fight he gets into until the end. It should have been the other way around, the Hulk is an unstoppable force putting people in corners and pummeling his opponents into a fleshy piles of their body parts.

There was a dope ass fight with Beta Ray Bill and the Hulk, and as the Hulk was finally going green eyed with rage until an alien stopped him by grabbing the Hulks arms as he was smashing in Beta Ray Bills face, WTF? If that really happened the Hulk would have tossed that alien across the coliseum.

Needless to say this movie missed its mark.

Big Fan

Redbone — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 03:41:03 +0000

Patton Oswalt is a loser, hardcore Giants fan who gets beat up by his favorite player. This turns his life upside down, not that there was much to turn over and sets off a series of events that fly out of control towards the end. This movie has finally convinced me that the Academy Awards, Golden Globes and all those other movie awards are simply a celebrity circle jerk that only boast about films that are supposed to be good. But they don’t do their research, they don’t watch the films, they don’t give a fuck.

Why do I say this?

Because Big Fan was fucking great. I thought since Patton Oswalt is in it, that this movie was going to be a silly comedy; boy was I wrong. This was a very serious role with some humor added. Oswalt was great and the story was very entertaining.

It was a good thing that I was the RMR reviewer for this film because a deeply rooted point of the movie has to deal with the New York Giants Vs. Philadelphia Eagles fans rivalry and we have one of each on our staff. Shogun00 bleeds Giants’ blue and Whiteface screams Eagles. Luckily, I don’t give a fuck about football, but I was born about a mile from Giants’ Stadium so…

Nevertheless, like I said before, this movie is great. And if Mickey Rourke and The Wrestler could be handed so many awards and critical acclaims then Big Fan deserves them too.

I’m going to give this movie 5 bloody steaks… I wasn’t going to go so high despite loving the movie, but then I remembered my favorite line from the film, “Maybe he’s here to see the Wu-Tang”

Crows Zero II Movie Review Santa Barbara International Film Festival

Shogun00 — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 21:08:36 +0000

Fly…

“It is difficult to make crows flock” is one of many stand out lines of Crows Zero II, a film currently playing at the Santa Barbara International Film Festival.

I was one of only a handful of people for the late night feature(my count was 7 people). Too bad for ANYONE who missed this film, oh don’t worry I am about to explain.

First off, they showed Crows Zero last year at the SBIFF and it turned out to be one of my favorite movies of the Film Festival. Have you ever played the video game Rival Schools? That’s basically the concept of these films. For those of you who are not hip to the 2-D fighters on various video game consoles Crows Zero is a take on High School Drama only with a serious beat’em up bloody fist twist. The main protagonist, Genji come to Suzuran High School and there are many gangs within the High School in a constant battle for control of the school. In the first Film Genji starts a new faction in Suzuran called the GPS and beats the top dude to a bloody pulp and is now the leader of all of Suzuran

The Second movie opens right where 1st movie ended. In a turn of events Genji accidentally disrupts the truce (that he had no idea about, he has been leader all of 5 minutes) with Hosen, a rival school and both schools are now at war. It’s up to Genji to unite all the gangs in Suzuran for the fight with Hosen.

This flick rocks. The second movie matures along with its characters creating a whole new mountain for Genji to climb and conquer. The action is brutal, bloody and will make you cringe. the film does a good job mixing up the drama and face melting action with just the right amount of comedic relief. And the biggest plus is the fucking fantastic soundtrack.

****Side Note- The movie is directed by Takashi Miike, he is one of my favorite directors of all time****

If you are in the SB area check out this movie on the big screen, all others find both these films and enjoy the blood!!!!

Yeasayers LIVE at Natural History Museum in Los Angeles

Shogun00 — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 19:21:52 +0000

I had a wet and wild Friday night. It took me 3 hours and 30 minutes to drive to the Natural History Museum in Los Angeles on a rainy 101 and it was worth it to see Brooklyn’s Yeasayers.

Some background on the Yeasayers before I get into the review, I went to see Man Man perform in Santa Barbara and this band called the Yeasayers was opening for them. At this point I had only heard 1 track which I played on my specialty show, New Noize, before attending the Santa Barbara show. I got there early enough to check out the Yeasayers open, THEY WERE SO GOOD THAT I DIDN’T STAY FOR MAN MAN. I didn’t want to ruin what I just saw, heard and felt.

So you know I was psyched when I heard the Yeasayers were doing a couple of select shows before they head over to Europe to start touring. I got even more amped when I heard they were doing a show at the Natural History Museum in LA. I went to one of these events about 4 years ago when Autolux and Deerhoof preformed in the American Wing in front of the Bison Diorama. Needless to say, the Autolux/Deerhoof show was a truly unique experience and so was the Yeasayers.

This time out, the place was packed. I felt bad for a large majority of concert goers. They had to watch the show from the lobby because the capacity in the actual wing where the Yeasayers were playing was 300, and there were well over 300 people there. How did I move in and out of the crowd so seamlessly? VIP/All Access wristbands that a very AWESOME person hooked me, and my plus 1, up with. But the Yeasayers still hooked up the lobby crowd. They had people walking around with 3-D cameras that were projecting a live feed of the show on the walls of the lobby in LIVE 3-D. Plus the 3-D glasses were old school blue and red, not new school Avatar clear!

The Yeasayers killed it. Opening with “The Children” they started to tear up the Natural History Museum with all sorts of strange and wonderful sounds. Sure there were moments of unwanted feedback and some technical malfunctions, but that’s half the appeal of a live show. 2/3’s of the show consisted of material off their new album, ODD Blood. Some highlights include Madder Red, Ambling Alp, O.N.E and Love Me Girl, a personal favorite. They did different renditions of material off their first album, All Hour Cymbals. Sunrise was a stand-out track for me. I especially dig how these cats vibe on stage, they look like they are having a good time and have no fears expressing it on stage. Amazing harmonies and wacked out noises made this show one to remember.

Final Verdict, if the Yeasayers are playing in your area check em out!

Bruce Willis Saves the Future From Ourselves? Surrogates Movie Review

Shogun00 — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 19:28:18 +0000

Bruce Willis is the man.

This movie sucks. It does, plain and simple. Bruce Willis is the only thing good about this movie and even that doesn’t stop the suckage. The movie started out promising, robots, the future, new culture VS old culture. It had it all, and somehow, big budget and all this movie just tanked. I will be honest I stopped paying attention after a couple plot twists.

If you want to see Bruce do his thing in the future rent Fifth Element.

Book Of Eli Movie Review

Shogun00 — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 18:37:39 +0000

Denzel Washington is the man. He can officially play role he wants to and make a shitty movie good. And yes Book of Eli seems like a shitty movie, until the Zatoichi twist at the end of the movie. For those who know who Zatoichi is sorry about the spoiler.

Eli (Denzel) has a King James bible in his possession and something inside him which he calls Faith is sending him west during the aftermath of some sort of Apocalyptic event. Gary Oldman plays Carnegie, a man who remembers a time before the “FLASH” and is looking to use the book to trap the minds of the simple minded people that are left on this world. And this world is bad, I mean Mad Max bad. It has everything you expect in an movie about the Apocalypse including cannibalism, rape, control, and a whole lot of desert and dust. The future is dirty. Luckily the Hughes brothers made a very believable future for all of us.

The movie was slow and as soon as I got out of the theater I was relieved that I could leave. I hated it initially, but then the themes and concepts started to sink in, plus the twist made this movie super bad ass. The more and more I thought about the film, the more I liked it. And you can’t go wrong with Mila Kunis, not only is she super fine, I mean Megan Fox fine(Yeah I said, and I meant it!), but unlike Megan Fox she is a great actress. Although her decision at the end of this film is just plain stupid.

Check this movie if you can handle some disturbing images and if you like movies about the end of the world.

PSN…War Games That Would Make Matthew Broderick’s Dick Fall Off

Whiteface — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 17:09:42 +0000

Modern Warfare 2

Jesus Christmas. It is all out war on my PS3. I’d like to talk about 3 games that I feel like I’ll never stop playing. Modern Warfare 2, Battlefield 1943, and MAG. I WAS gonna just write about these things separately but their all so similar I figured I’d break each one down for you in one post. All 3 are online, all 3 are 1st person shooters, and all 3 require you to be war savvy and have some skills with a sniper rifle. Different time settings which means different weapons and little subtleties separate them from each other, just enough to make you want to play all 3…..all the time. First up Modern Warfare 2….

If anyone should ever play 1 war game in their life it should be either one of the Modern Warfares. Unbelievable graphics, story line, character acting, music, weapons, game play, cutscenes, and endings. This game is the only one of the 3 that is not primarily online, which means you can get your train on before you take it to the world. As in the first, you take on the role of several different characters as you proceed through the story, covering various parts of the world’s map. I won’t bore you with the details, but the story is SICK. Plot twists at almost every level ending, making you want to play the next chapter right away. OK great but the story eventually ends and this game goes back on the shelf right? WRONG. Now we also have 2 more awesome elements of this game, Special Ops and Multiplayer Online.

Special Ops is a series of either one player or mutilplayer mini games that demand all sorts of various skills you’ve learned throughout the game. Unlock more challenges by earning stars in 3 different levels of difficulty. Everything from running through training courses to snowmobile races could keep you busy for years. That is of course if you can stop playing mutiplayer online.

It’s 9 on 9 go time with a retaaaaaarrded amount of upgrades and perks as you level up. New weapons, attachments, abilities, and equipment await you at almost every headshot. Eventually you can even control Preditor missiles from above and order air strikes. Absolutely insane. Don’t worry about your level to be able to compete, at level 2 I was out scoring level 50’s and higher, it’s really easy to level up. I could go on and on here but I should move on to the next game, my final thought on Modern Warfare 2…..buy it immediately, it’s a no doubt five slab o’ beef .

Next up Battlefield 1943…

12 on 12 online only war where you are either USMC’s or Japanese soldiers fighting on War World II’s most famous battle grounds such as Iwo Jima and Guadalcanal. Now this game is download only so there’s not a whole hell of a lot going on besides the actual game play. 3 basic characters that you can choose between before each respawn. What makes this game unique is the vehicle aspect, you can operate reappearing planes, tanks, jeeps, anti aircraft guns, .50cal turrets, even call in air raids. Personally, I like to post up at the AA guns and take out the pilot bitches that actually figured out how to fly those things good. That’s pretty much it, play and enjoy. For being a very one sided game this one loses a slab but it’s a solid 4 chunk deal.

Oh boy. For real another one? Yes. Another one.

MAG?, more like OMG. This is a store bought MMO title only on the PSN featuring an astonishing 256 simultaneous game player mode. Take the last two games and mash em together for this one that takes place in the future when private military corporations falsely promote world peace only to take over certain territories and carry out mini wars against each other. They are divided into 3 corporations 1 of which you will choose when starting the game. You will be in this corporation for the remainder of your existence. Move up through the ranks by scoring XP in each battle, eventually becoming squad leader, and then calling the shots from behind the lines. This of course will require a LOT of skill, these kids are real good at this game. I’ve only played this for a couple of hours but it is a very intricate and complex game, and only the more experienced gamer should spend their money on this one. I recommend renting it to see if you can hang first. Lots of upgrades and different character development as your level increases unlocking the 256 player games at level 8. This is still under investigation for me but so far so good and I could go ahead and give this one an easy 4 1/2 already.

See you on the Network, bring your A game, if you’d like to join my clan, we’re known as the Face Eaters….call sign CHU….like we chew on your face.

Whiteout.

Hurt Locker Movie Review

Shogun00 — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 16:51:06 +0000

Finally Netflix has answered the call and sent over The Hurt Locker in the mail. There is a huge buzz about this film so I had to check it.

You thought TNT knew drama, you were wrong. Hurt locker is intense starting with the first scene. The pace of this film is what keeps you in, it is a super uncomfortable and you never know when the next explosion happen. The movie is about a special military unit that defuses bombs in Iraq. The 3 characters fuel this film, you are concerned for all 3 well being. Jeremy Renner character is a master bomb defuser and all around madman getting his 2 subordinates in his unit into the worst possible scenarios on almost every mission. Anthony Mackie character is one of those dudes who keeps a count until his rotation is over, and towards the end you see him start to spiral into madness. Brian Geraghty character is the person who is having the worst time. War is literally driving him bat shit, and throughout the film you wait to see his melt down. The best part about this film is the intense atmosphere that lingers throughout the entire film, even in the most subtle scenes. The actors do a bang up job depicting the different faces of today’s military, whether that face be positive or negative. This is my generations war movie about a war in my time.

Final verdict, this movie should be in the Oscar race.

New Music Reviews- Hot Chip Yeasayers Surfer Blood

Shogun00 — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 21:47:21 +0000

Hot Chip – One Life Stand

Hot Chip is a great band, there records have gone from laid back to in your face and everything in between. Their newest album, One Life Stand is being released in a couple of weeks and the question is not if you should pick it up, the question is, is it worth picking up. Yes, if you’re a Hot Chip fan. Confused? Made in the Dark was the previous album, and man was it a banger. It left this huge shadow of awesomeness that everyone would enjoy. All of Hot Chips albums have a totally different vibe from each other and One Life Stand is no exception. The new record has a lot more melodies and harmonies and is much more subtle in its delivery from the over the top crazy sounds and clashing noises of Made in the Dark. One Life Stand has some stand out tracks including We Have Love, Take It In, Brothers and the title track, One Life Stand. I love Hot Chip, have seen them in concert (super fun) a couple of times, and love their sound plus they make great music videos. The album is good and different in many, so I would pick this up if you’re a Hot Chip fan

Yeasayers- Odd Blood

Hello Brooklyn. I have been waiting for their second album for a while and the Yeasayers delivered in spades. Odd Blood is super weird and at the same time had element that I could only define as Pop. I know Pop, but some of there is some really catchy shit this album. This new audio that the Yeasayers have constructed on this album sounds like a cross between Genesis(with Peter Gabriel) and Animal Collective.(FYI-I hate to compare bands music signatures to other bands, but in this case I HAD to make an exception, this album is that good and that different!) I also love this band because they sound SO different from everything else you hear. Some standout tracks are Love Me Girl, O.N.E. Ambling Alp and Madder Red, but in all honesty start at track 1 and let that motherfucker play.

Surfer Blood- Astro Coast

Indie fans prepare to bleed Surfer Blood. This band recommendation came from Sara _____(you wish you knew her last name!). She is a super elitist when I comes to music & her recommendations have always been on point and she came through yet again. Their range of styles and sound is wide open. Surfer Blood 1st listen immediately put me in a chipper mood, which is impossible to do before 10am, but it happened. They are not afraid to have fun and make happy good time music, just listen to their track “Take it Easy”. In short a great record to start of 2010 from a great new band.

White Trash Sopranos, I mean Sons of Anarchy….Awesome

Whiteface — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 00:36:05 +0000

Bad ass tatt

Once again, I start a new series during it’s second season, partly because of my recent dark ages saga and partly so that the show can prove it’s worth before it gets canceled and I get pissed off. This one I started on the recommendation from a friend, and what a recommend it was. Sons of Anarchy, FX’s smash hit, has got me ready to sell my car, buy a Harley, grow a beard, don a leather vest, and shoot a drug dealer in the face….just not my drug dealer.

Question…. How could a show starring Peggy Bundy, the Scottish dude with that FUCKED up scar, Henry Rollins, and Ron mothafuckin Perlman be bad? It can’t, you’re right. Besides these powerhouses, Sons has a full time cast of people you definitely would recognize, just might take you a minute to place them. The protagonist, Jax, is played by Charlie Hunnam, who you might remember from such films as Green Street Houligans and Children of Men.

What’s it all about you ask? Well since you’ve asked, it’s all about a biker gang from Charming California and their various exploits in illegal gun trafficking, extorting local business for protection, warring with local gang rivals, and cutting the balls off rapists. The underlying main theme is the inner conflict of Jax and his attempt to steer the club into a safer line of work at the recommendation of his deceased father who “passes” his legacy on through a book he wrote that Jax finds. Currently, Ron Perlman is the club pres and Jax is the VP. Peggy Bundy is Jax’s mother and Perlman’s wife (awkwaaarrdd) and she is BAD ASS. In a nutshell, it’s Sopranos all over again with a different set of outlaws who do terrible things and are undeniably psychopaths……but you like them. Season 1 was awesome, Season 2 is fucking CRAAAZZZYY, can’t wait for the launch of Season 3 which was confirmed back in December. With over 5 million viewers weekly, it is definitely the new hot shit on FX and should continue to be for a while. You can find Season 1 on DVD/Blue Ray and feel free to purchase that right now. Check it out.

Whiteout.

Another One Bites the Dust, the Death of Kings