Laid to Rest in a Bloody Pile of Meat.

Chrome Skull is abducting young women to videotape while he tortures them. That’s the gist. So where’s the story? See… It really doesn’t matter. The acting is bland, the story is lame, the characters are retarded, but the gore and special FX are top-notch.

The movie begins with The Girl played by Bobbi Sue Luther, who unfortunately never fully bares her breast, waking up all stupid in a coffin at a funeral home. She had been abducted by Chrome Skull, a dual survival-knife wielding psychopath with a wait for it… wait for it… … hold on… yes, a chrome skull mask and a DV Camera attached to his right shoulder. Aside from that, he’s dressed in a black suit with a black undershirt and drove a Chrysler 300, so my guess is that he’s a guido. Actually come to think of it, he liked to videotape himself being a complete douchebag, so he was definitely a guido.

So The Girl runs around and gets picked up on the side of the road by Tucker played by Kevin Gage and the two eventually start bouncing around from one place to another in the small bumblefuck town they are in, assuring that Chrome Skull viciously murders everyone else they come in contact with. And that’s what makes this movie worthwhile. Chrome Skull might be a slasher-movie maniac not deserving of a sequel, but goddamnit that bald dude could really mutilate people. The FX were some of the best that you will find in any low-budget movie. There is an art form to horror makeup and effects and those of us who have grown up watching the works by people like Tom Savini, understand that it is not easy making something look so realistic that it makes the viewer question whether or not what they just saw was real.

This movie will be the first one on Red Meat Reviews to be given a meaty rating. Meaty ratings will be based on the movies ability to feed your manly appetite, with 1 steak or less meaning you still need to hit up White Castle before going to sleep, or the high of 5 Steaks, leaving you feeling like Mr. Creosote in Monty Python’s Meaning of Life.

Laid to Rest gets:

2.5 Bloody steaks for the ingenuity of the gore and effects, but it lacks everywhere else. Regardless, it definitely belongs in the collection of any slasher/horror movie fan.

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